Vehicular tour route to provide for public appreciation, education, understanding, and enjoyment (16USC1244)

With TJ's family in town for only two days, we really had to do a whirlwind tour of northern Baja California. I don't know of any national tour company that offers a package in the area, but if there is, they could do worse than hit the highlights of our loop.

In Tijuana, we took in the local culture though our mouths at Hidalgo Mercado. We crossed off most items on our grocery list before we relaxed for a respite at El Rincón del Oso. Contrary to the bear in its name, the featured meats at the diner were birria de chivo and carne asada. We ordered them in nearly every offered preparation: clockwise from bottom left, quesadillas, gorditas, tacos, and a torta.
After filling our stomachs, we fed our mind at the Museo de las Californias at the Centro Cultural Tijuana, which is well-known for the spherical structure outside (which happens to be an IMAX theater). But we found the exhibits inside to be just as interesting, especially because they were accompanied by a docent posing as an enthusiastic Pancho Villa supporter.
From Tijuana, we took the toll road to Tecate, namesake of the lager exported by Cervecería Cuauhtémoc-Moctezuma, in the hopes that we could talk our way into a brewery tour, or at least catch the adjacent beer garden giving away its free drafts. Luck was not on our side, so we settled for a sit-down in the town's plaza, where every restaurant was doling out the red cans, except not for free. After quenching our thirst, we turned our attention to our hunger and headed to El Mejor Pan, where we had trouble choosing among all the sweet treats.
With more than a half-dozen pastries in our pack, we headed off on the Ruta del Vino from Tecate to Ensenada. After being shut out of a few wineries because, yet again, we lacked reservations for a tour, we ended up at Viñas de Garza. The ambiance was amazing, but we all agreed that it wasn't worth the price of a flight: $20 for four tastes.
Just a little ways down the road, we found the more accommodating charm -- and the more acceptable cost, $10 for three tastes -- of La Casa Vieja. A frisky kitten and a musical duo at the accompanying restaurant made the experience enjoyable, but no amount of atmosphere at either vineyard made the sub-par wine appetizing enough to purchase.
We had much more appealing cocktails, of shrimp and clams with onion, lime juice, and avocado, in downtown Ensenada. They were dessert after a main meal of fish tacos off the malecón. It is generally accepted that the fish taco originated in Baja, but the exact location is disputed, with San Felipe, Rosarito, and Ensenada all participating in the bidding war for bragging rights. For its part, Ensenada has assembled an army of soldiering stalls next to the Mercado de Mariscos, which lends credence to its claim.
From Ensenada, we drove the coastal road back to Tijuana, but we made a quick detour in Rosarito to catch the sunset. We happened to come out on the beach next to Papas & Beer, a once-infamous spring-break destination. The reputation might have been well-earned, considering that, despite its near-empty state, a trash can was on fire. Who knows what havoc a packed house could have wreaked?
We averted our eyes to gaze upon the other blazing, and more beautiful, object at the beach. We watched the sun slide beneath the clouds, then set off for home, completing our circuit. All in all, I'd say that it was a good enough trip to qualify me as a tour guide. After all, I'm unemployed, and I always wanted to be my own boss. I'll have business cards for everyone soon.