Exemptions to nonprofit ... skating facilities (26USC4241)

Confession time: At one point in my life I wanted to be a professional roller skater. After an initial outing to the local rink as a Girl Scout and a few lessons afterward, I thought I was destined to be the Dorothy Hamill of the hardwoods; I was even willing to copy her haircut if necessary. This ambition faded as soon as I found out that I could never become good enough to earn a gold medal, especially because the sport wasn't and still isn't part of the Olympics. 

But some dreams die hard, and I still made a few trips to the rink while in high school, when I was well past the average -- and acceptable -- age of the crowd (I remember getting hit on by a very brave pre-teen, but by then, the ability to skate backwards was no longer a reason to accept a couple-skate invitation). I didn't get back on the rink until I felt a desire to inculcate the younger generation, especially after the owners of my hometown skate place decided there wasn't enough interest to reopen after arson burned the place down.

I thought for sure that most roller rinks were flaming out, but then, someone figured out that the way to win popularity for roller skating was to differentiate it as much as possible from ice skating, particularly the goody-two-shoes image of Hamill. The X-Games and American Gladiators gave birth to Rollerjam, and soon, another reason to wear fishnet tights was revived: roller derby.

After I found out that one of my fellow Posties skates for a team in Orlando, the Psycho City Derby Girls, I figured San Diego had to be in on the trend, and sure enough, there are not one but two teams: the Starlettes (flat track) and the Derby Dolls (banked track). Because a friend found the flat-trackers first, my first foray into the sport was a B-team bout between the Rockettes and Prison City Derby Dames.

At first, I was enamored merely by the atmosphere. It was like I was right back at my beloved Coliseum, complete with the grungy bathrooms, claw-crane machine, and psychedelic starry-blue carpet that must be mandatory for roller rinks. About the only differences were that the rink had a track laid out with tape (left) and areas marked "danger zones" a few feet from the track (right).

My interest only increased when the action started. I hadn't done any research on the Women's Flat Track Derby Association rules, but I didn't need to in order to see that these were real athletes. I won't go into great detail here, but the main roles are blockers and jammers. Blockers have to knock into others without losing their balance (left). Jammers have to be able to skate fast on a very tight track without spinning out (right). By far, my favorite team member was Shanghai Surprise, who was obviously a talented jammer, even to my untrained eye.

But even when I respect athletes, that doesn't always mean I want to watch them in person (especially if I can watch them from the comfort of my couch). To really put a sporting event over the top, there has to be a sense of a community. The Rockettes were clearly fan-friendly, handing out noise-makers to children to use during the bout (left) and slapping some skin with all ages during the team introductions beforehand (right).

 

And they weren't just building a fan community but also supporting the local one. At the entrance, there was a booth for a St. Patrick's Day themed bake sale and a few tables for local products, including dog treats -- organic, of course. An overwhelming local favorite belted out the national anthem, and a local dance studio busted a move for a "halftime show" (below).

 

So, I'm not a big fan of fishnets, but just like with the bowl haircut, I would be willing to make sacrifices to become a derby girl. But unfortunately, with my recent spate of hard head hits, I think maybe it's best I stay a spectator for now. After all, I need some time to come up with a good name; Eezzz Nutzzz 805 is already taken.