Substitute different foods providing the nutritional equivalent (42USC1786)

I headed to the grocery with the intention of making moussaka, a Greek-style lasagna made with eggplant and lamb. I knew I was pushing my luck on the ground lamb, but I thought I could substitute ground pork or beef, if necessary. I didn't even consider a lack of eggplant, because I had seen it in the supermarket in abundance a week ago. As if spewing a curse, a friend warned me that eggplant might be hard to find in Mexico, right before I went to the grocery.

With no eggplant or lamb in sight at the supermarket, I had to abandon my plans, but I didn't want to give up on the one afternoon I have lots of time to cook. So I came back to my list of dream dishes, seeking one for which I had all the ingredients. Just a few days before, after watching TJ's 90-year-old grandmother exhibit mastery in the kitchen, I decided to add a few Finnish foods to my agenda. TJ asked Grammy to share some traditional recipes with me, but they were all in her head, so I turned to the web. One I found was lihapyorykoita, or Finnish meatballs, and it happened to be the only meal in my catalogue that could be created from my pantry, mainly because it's mostly made of fat and meat, which I always have in stock.

The beef was frozen, but luckily, it was hot (in the triple digits in parts of San Diego County), so about half of it thawed before I needed to start prepping the meatballs. For the rest, I needed to make sure I didn't cook it as I defrosted it, so I nuked it for 30 seconds at a time on half-power, peeling off the thawed meat in between microwave sessions, of which there were four.

The recipe called for whipping cream, of which I had none, but a little bit of Googling revealed that I could substitute heavy cream, of which I also had none. But serendipitously, I also came across this recipe for heavy cream, which is a nice little trick to know for the future.

The recipe also called for allspice, and surprisingly, it was one of the only spices the previous resident didn't leave behind. On the same internet adventure, I found a substitution for allspice. I had just bought cinnamon sticks for the moussaka, and I had ground cloves. But then I thought, why not use a bit of pumpkin-pie spice? Since it contains cinnamon and allspice (along with nutmeg and ginger) -- and since the previous resident left behind five containers of it. I split the recipe's measurement between cloves and pumpkin-pie spice, with a few scrapes of cinnamon for good measure. Finally, I had all the ingredients.

Mixing the meat was a messy endeavor, especially because I didn't really mince the onion, so much as chop it as quickly as possible so I could get back to Dr. Drew's Lifechangers. But eventually, the seasonings, meat, cream, bread crumbs, and egg all became incorporated, so I could form them into golf balls fit for frying.

The meatballs went into the icebox as I waited for TJ to come home after crossing the border to run in the States. He was delayed well into the evening because he found a puppy locked in a public bathroom. (What is it with us and abandoned dogs?) But at least he was hungry after going through the trouble to make sure the pup was safe and sound in a shelter. It took me about 45 minutes to whip through the steps of cooking the meatballs: 1) melting the butter, 2) browning the meatballs, 3) making the gravy, and 4) simmering the meatballs in the gravy.

It took me a little longer than the allotted time because I had to transfer the final concoction into a larger pan. Apparently, Finnish cooks have skillets the size of Scandinavia. They probably also have egg noodles always at the ready. Me, I had to settle for a bag of those cheap, almost-instant noodles that I subsisted on throughout college (because they were more sophisticated than mac and cheese, of course).

While TJ ate, I asked him if his grandma ever made similar meatballs. He said she usually made Swedish meatballs at the holidays. What a traitor! Out of curiosity, I looked up some recipes, and it seems that the major difference between the two countries' versions is that, in Sweden, the beef is mixed with pork, the meat is seasoned with nutmeg (which I ended up adding as part of my improvised allspice), and the gravy is made with stock, not heavy cream. Leave it to me to lean toward the tradition with more lard.